So I just realized that there was a massive black dildo in the background of my linkedin photo.

My bestfriend thought it would be funny to drunkenly log onto my linkedin and ask a random person to recommend my cock's work ethic and winning personality. Of course, he choose my boss.

Ruined my phone when updating my resume on the shitter. Twice.

After 6 months of treating linkedin as my personal dating service, I finally did it. I finally got fired for harassing the secretary. Now I have no connections that I havn't tried to sleep with.

For the past 3 months I created and regularly updated my status about my amazing new job that didn't exist because I thought it would make my old boss jealous for firing me.

While I was waiting to hear back from an interview, my friend thought it would be funny to take a picture of my morning wood and post it as my profile picture for my linked in account.

I thought it was odd that my 16 year old brother wanted to add me on linkedin but I was glad he was starting to grow up and think about work. 2 days later I get a recommendation as an "Outstanding and highly motivated stripper."